Price increase to the Cape of Good Hope & the Penguins at Boulders. Is it worth it?

Guy at the hospital is waiting for his test results. The Doctors walks in and says ” I have good news and bad news for you, what do you want first?

‘Give me the good news first please Doc”

“Your going to have a disease named after you”

Ahh the old ones are the best. Well I have some good news for you and some bad news, what would you like first?

The good news? OK fine. The good news is that by booking with Cape Convoy you are going to have the best day you can imagine. You are going to avoid the crowds, avoid the lines. Learn a lot and laugh a lot. So if you have booked with Cape Convoy. congratulations, you’re a genius and you have made the correct descision

If you have decided not to book with Cape Convoy then you are a person of very poor judgement and the type of Zero we will be spending most of the day avoiding


                                                                This could be you

Now for the bad news. Table Mountain National Parks have increased the entrance fee’s for the Cape of Good Hope from R145 pp to R303 pp and increased the entrance fee’s to visit the Penguins at Boulders from R75 pp to R152

First things first. What genius decided to make the entrance fee’s R303 and R152? round it up or down! Now every time we turn up we get asked if we have change by the staff at the gate because the card machines never work!

So, the question is, is the increase worth it?

Yes it is

Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope are stunning and booking with Cape Convoy means being there nice and early so it is a very pleasant experience in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

The Penguins I think is a but steep but that is me thinking like a South African. However more good news, we know places that you can visit and see the Penguins free of charge, they are in a few hidden spots we know and after that if you’re still keen then you can pay to visit them at the National Park

A cheaper option is to visit them is on our fabulous Garden Route tour, we can swing by Betty’s Bay if you like and it’s only R20

Until next time


Your Pal






Boulders Beach Vs Betty’s Bay, what’s the best for Penguin Viewing?

Alright, everyone loves Penguins right? I do and I don’t trust people who don’t. The Western Cape is home to various Penguin colonies dotted all along the coast and the most famous is probably Boulders Beach National Park just outside Simon’s Town, it’s certainly the most popular

The African Jackass Penguin (I believe the word Jackass has been dropped now because it probably offended some snowflake) was given its name because it sounds just like a Jackass Donkey when it is braying. They are the only Penguin species in Africa and do not migrate anywhere but do move from area to area along the coast depending on fish stocks. They hunt the small bait fish, sardines and so on and because of overfishing they are endangered


      Not a people person


To protect them from humans the National Parks where you can view the Penguins have wooden walkways that you use to view them. The walkway also keeps people away from their nests so they can raise their young in peace without being stampeded to death

There is another place you visit Penguins is Betty’s Bay on route to Hermanus. To get there you take the stunning Clarence Drive along the coast. It’s a long way out of Cape Town and we only go to Hermanus during Whale Watching Season (August – November) and when we do we stop is Betty’s Bay. Some Private Garden Route tour clients like to stop there if they have planned their own itinerary.

On the full day Cape Point tour we visit Boulders Beach. It’s busy with tourists but we know a few tricks to help you avoid them and know a few places where they hang out (not for sharing here) but it’s expensive. From November I have heard the entrance fee’s is going up to R150 pp

Betty’s Bay is cheaper R20 and has way less people so would say Betty’s Bay is a better experience but you can only go there (with us) if you book a Garden Route tour and request it, and that would mean dropping something else.

So in summary, Betty’s Bay is better and cheaper but Boulders is easier and on the Cape Point tour and you get it free when you book the Garden Route tour anyway

Until next time


Your Pal


How easy is it being a vegetarian in South Africa?

I have stopped eating red meat. I have had the feeling for a while that I should stop but never seemed to manage it. I would last a few days and return to it, but this time I think I have nailed it. It’s a strange thing. Sometimes I craved it and sometimes I looked at meat before I ate it and felt repulsion. Also I would feel weak after a day or so and climb straight into a burger or something and feel better for a short while but then feel guilty for eating it. So red meat is over for me even if I continue to eat it because of the guilt I feel after so I may as well stop


No dead Cow in here mate!

Years ago I was in Hermanus and I while I was waiting for my clients to return from a Whale Watching trip I was hanging around the harbour as the fishing boats came back in. There were 4 or 5 large silver fish, dead on the jetty all in a row and I was just staring at them. It was a hot day and the concreate was hot. Suddenly the fish on the far left started flapping around. It was still alive and it was obvious to me that it was in distress. I wanted to run over and throw him back in to cool blue water but I just stared at it. I was not brave enough.  The fisherman would have been understandable furious that I was interfering with his livelihood and his business.

Ever since then I have hardly touched fish and I doubt I will again. I can’t get that fish out my mind

I don’t eat Ostrich because I saw one get run over at Cape Point once and I remember how much pain it was in how scared it was and I remember thinking that all animals must feel that way in the slaughterhouse as they wait their turn

So I just eat chicken now and I want to get to the stage where I can leave that. My Daughter is a Vegetarian. When we were living in Kalk Bay she called me to remove a cockroach from the bathroom. I killed it and flushed it. She looked at me at said “Daddy, why did you do that? His life is as important to him as yours is to you” Maybe that’s when it started

So if you’re a Vegetarian or a Vegan and Visiting South Africa you may need to plan a bit. South African’s eat a lot of meat but you have lots of great options. I had the most amazing vegetarian bean lasagne the other day and on the Garden Route tour there are lots of great Vegetarian restaurants. As Cape Convoy has lots of Indian clients I have made it my business to know where they all are

Here is a list of some great Vegetarian restaurants in Cape Town

Chow Down you happy herbivores!

Until next time


Your Pal


What to do when you arrive in Cape Town

Here are a few hints and tips for when you first touch down in Cape Town to help you settle in for your first day


How do I get to my hotel?

If you’re staying at a 5 Star hotel then they will most likely send you a car. If you have booked the Cape Convoy Garden Route tour, then we will collect you. If not, then Uber in South Africa is safe. I have always used Touch Down taxis based at the airport. They are reliable and safe and have never let me down

Look’s like a nice day, Table Mountain looks amazing

Drop your bags off and get up there STRAIGHT AWAY, regardless how tired you are because Table Mountain is more unpredictable than Donald Trump. It is always closed due to wind, cloud or heavy rain so if you have a chance to go, drop everything and go!

What are those strange rat-like things?

They are called Rock Hyrax or a Dassie Rat and they are members or the Elephant family and there are loads of them on Table Mountain or anywhere it’s rocky. They are herbivores and quite far down the food chain. They eat a lot of vegetation, so the Birds of Prey keep their numbers in check



I like my hotel, now I fancy a drink

Quay 4 at the Waterfront is nice or Café Caprice in Camps Bay for cocktails.

Now I am hungry, anywhere nice to eat?

I like to take my Girlfriend to the Black Sheep on Kloof Street. She loves it there and whenever I take her there I reap the benefits for ages. I am not a foodie but even I love it there. Hussar Grill in Sea Point of Camps Bay for steak and Harbour House at the Waterfront of Kalk Bay for Sea Food

Thanks Rob, I will take your advice, I will give you my feedback

Please don’t, I am not in the slightest bit interested. The only feedback I am interested in is feedback from clients who have paid for the tours. This is free advice so take it or leave it

What is the best way to experience the Garden Route?

Ha! That’s easy, with Cape Convoy of course


Your pal


Sharks Need Our Help


I love Sharks, I always have. When I was a child I loved the film Jaws. I found the Shark very exciting and mysterious. When the Shark was eating people I did not care and when Brody, Hooper and Quint go off in the Orca to kill the Shark, I was on the Sharks side. The Shark had the right to defend itself against the 3 men who have made it their mission in life to kill him. Sharks belong in the Ocean and humans don’t. If you don’t want to get eaten by a Shark then don’t swim in areas where you know that they live and if you dress up in a black wetsuit, pretending to be a dying Seal on a surfboard in a area that Great White Sharks have lived to 200 million years then, if you get eaten, it’s a tiny bit your fault.

My girlfriend went and saw that movie The Meg the other day. I am not interested in seeing another film demonizing these wonderful, beautiful animals that just want to live in peace and be left alone. Humans are not very good at leaving Sharks alone. Every years 150 000 000 Sharks are slaughtered for their fins. They are hacked off while the Shark is still alive and the poor animal is thrown back into the sea. To drown.

Sharks play a hugely important role in the eco systems in our oceans. Once Sharks become extinct then the entire eco system collapses and then we are all fucked. Once the Oceans die, we die.


  An unhinged killing machine and a Great White Shark

We are connected to the natural world but the problem is that we have forgotten that. We don’t realise that we share the same fate as our animal brothers and sisters and we can’t survive without them. Nature needs us and we need nature.

Shark Diving tours are very popular but the Great White Sharks in Gansbaai are not are common as they used to be. Do you want to live in a world without Sharks, Sea turtles, Whales, Dolphins, Penguins? Is that what you want for your children?

I am sure it’s not

So what can we do? Firstly you can support organizations such as Friends of the Earth, Save Our Seas or have a look at this list of the top 10 Shark Conservation groups worldwide, perhaps there is one in your country you can support?

Also if you live in Asia, don’t eat Shark Fin Soup, it does not taste of anything and is pointless, just as Rhino Horn won’t make your dick bigger

Here is a poem by the late great Felix Dennis talking about Trees and humanity’s relationship with the Natural World. It’s called Place a Mirror by a Tree


Place a mirror by a tree;

Tell me now, what do you see?


Which of you will feed the earth?

Which of you contains more worth?


Which of you with sheltering arm

Keeps a thousand things from harm?


Which of you is nature’s bane?

Which is Abel? Which is Cain?


Which of you is God’s delight?

Which of you a parasite?


Place a mirror by a tree;

Tell me now— what do you see

You can learn more about Felix Dennis and his Poetry here


Your Pal





Where to stay & Bad Tourists

Right, so you have decided to visit Cape Town now you are looking for somewhere nice to stay. Where to start?

There are a lot of options. sometimes having too much choice can be confusing and you start to 2nd guess your decision. Trip Advisor is a great place to start. The cream always rises to the top so Trip Advisor won’t put you far wrong. The thing you have to remember about Trip Advisor is that only around 1% of people who have a great experience will bother to write about it and 100% of people who didn’t have a great time, will

Also, in Tourism we are dealing with the general public and there are a lot of neurotic fuck nuts out there. I have been lucky as most of Cape Convoy’s clients have been wonderful but even I have attracted some social hand grenades over the years. I had one window licker on the tour who tried to Kung Fu kick me in the head because  Lufthansa airlines lost her bag and another oxygen thief called D… accused me of trying to kill her adult children because they set of on a gentle hike to the Cape Point lighthouse and she thought they would be killed by Lions

And let’s not forget the woman who got drunk at 9 am, screamed at her husband and me, called us assholes and then ran off and promptly disappeared. A search party found her 5 hours later behind a rock close to the Cape of Good Hope (alive sadly)



                                    Hi Rob, nice to meet you. This tour better be good

So yes, I have to deal with weirdos every now and then but 99% of people are awesome so, let’s get back on point, where to stay while you’re here

Personally I would stay close to the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront for the following reasons

1. It’s safe

2. You have everything on your doorstep

3. You can walk around at night

4. After a long day of touring with Cape Convoy you don’t have to bother organizing        taxi’s to get something to eat and drink

5. It’s easy for tour operators to collect and drop you off

I have always liked the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront Hotel

The standard of guesthouses is very high in Cape Town although I have never enjoyed collecting clients from them as they always make me feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

So there you have it, the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront is, in my opinion the best place

Until the next time, keep it real and I hope to meet you on one of our fabulous Garden Route Tours


Your Pal


What weather can I expect when I arrive in Cape Town?

Good question. Well, because human beings have basically screwed the planet up the seasons in the Cape (and everywhere else) are not as predictable as they used to be but here is a good guide.

Summer – December to February

Autumn ( Fall if you’re American) March to May

Winter  (All year is you’re British) June to August

Spring   September to November

We are in Winter now, in the Western Cape (Cape Town) it gets cold and windy. The wind hits the Peninsula HARD from the South East, comes straight off the Ocean and hands you your ass. Add driving rain to the mix and Winter in the Cape can be tough. Bring warm winter clothes and waterproof clothing. This morning it was cold, wet and windy and now it’s sunny and I am warm so you need to bring a mix of clothing.


  Tidal pool at St.James. Great if you don’t want to drown




During summer in Cape Town the temp averages around the 27 C Mark.  Because I am bald, white Englishman, I can overheat during a Luna Eclipse so Summer is hard going for me. I always have long sleeved cotton shirts and hats. I don’t use sun screen myself because I don’t like putting chemicals onto my skin or into my body but that’s not medical advice, I am not telling you not to bring sunscreen. You do what you like, I don’t give a shit.

So in summer you need summer clothes BUT still bring jumpers (sweaters) or wind breakers as the wind is relentless when it comes and can come all year. in Winter bring waterproof clothes and summer clothes

You can bring swimwear with you as well as there are nice tidal pools along the coast you can swim in. You can swim in the open sea if you like but be warned. The water is cold and your testicles will become the size of pin heads and your penis will retract back into your body immediately. Also your nipples will fall off.

So that is it really. here is a useful link to help you out because I am bored talking about the weather now.

The same rules apply to the Garden Route, bring the same clothing. By the way, if you’re coming to South Africa and your thinking about experiencing the Garden Route then do it with Cape Convoy (if you don’t then you’re crazy) and I will throw in a FREE full day Cape Point tour for you


Your Pal



Professor So from Singapore experiencing the South Easter in the Cape



Welcome to Cape Convoy

Welcome to the Cape Convoy blog. I want this blog to act as a useful tool for anyone planning to visit Cape Town. I will be uploading  videos, hints. tips, travelling advice and general information on all things South African. Mostly the blog will be concentrating on the Cape Peninsula and the Garden Route but as things progress it may well expand but for now I will stick to what I know

So welcome to the blog and if you’re planning on visiting South Africa then I hope I get the chance to spend some time with you

For information on the tours that we offer here at Cape Convoy then visit our website

Your Pal